#SoYouStillSingle….First Love.

“My Adam is in deep sleep so it only means,God is preparing me until He wakes him up and finds me.”
  -@deeogola

@msdorsila

Yes,i am single,well not so many people rejoice about that.It gets kind of weird especially when  you are in your twenties and past and you still maintain the status especially in this century.For me personally,it has not been the easiest choice i made,yeah, dating is a choice,it does not just happen(we can discuss that lol)

So why am i single(wish i could answer that lol) but actually i can answer that and so many of you can help me in answering.My answer is as simple as am not ready in any way to be responsible of any man out there.And am sure not ready to get married yet and more so i have not reached a place where God is all that i breathe and long for which is my ultimate goal.Ooops!!! Yeah its out there ,haha.But yeah it’s the truth,i really long to be satisfied in Christ,to be happy in having Him and always depending on Him.Therefore, in the achievement of my ultimate goal i find dating really distracting to me especially at this point in my life.

I saw a twitter hash tag sometime back that was trending #NaBadoUkoSingle(andyoustillsingle?).Mostly men criticized ladies for what they would do for them and still ended up #ForeverAlone #single.Most women do not want the status and most men adore the status,(non~committers,friends with benefits)etc.

Can i be honest?I personally hated the status because to the world single is another word for’loneliness and there is something really wrong with you ‘and there is a major need to do something about it.The hash tag #NaBadoUkoSingle (you still single) as much as it was a mockery to the ladies and displayed men as #winning,it was as well a wake up call for ladies to STOP playing house (Paying his rent,sleeping with him,calling him hubby without the ring,playing wife),allowing him to beat you up and abuse you,having his babies expecting him to commit to you,basically using you.

Yes i totally get it,we say we need the attention ,the love,and probably security.The pressure today is even worse because of what society has reduced relationships to.We are taught that waiting is impossible and reflects inability to attract the opposite sex.That,apparently,one is not pretty enough and no one wants them and for the guys well,inability to ‘get it’.

This brings me to conversation i had with a friend who was having problems with the girlfriend.He told me that the reason he was dating was to avoid the realness of being lonely but funny enough he was still lonely even in the relationship. RELATIONSHIPS DO NOT CURE LONELINESS.Proven conclusion.I too had a fair share of this discovery lol.I was looking for someone to cure my loneliness;crazy as that sounds it is so true.Someone to fill that void i have inside.I thought having this handsome romantic guy would help me with the loneliness and prove to the world that there is really nothing wrong with me.Text me all day,write me letters and love songs,take me horse riding(ok am drifting lol).But i really hoped that these guys would be able to complete me.

Funny story,it was quite the opposite;i ended up being branded needy and nagging.All those relationships ever did was show me how they could not fill that void within me.They would leave me emptier than before.To the standards of the world i had the most perfect relationships,but unfortunately they were unable to bring the best out of me but chipped my heart slowly by slowly in Gods standards.

I had not realized that all that would ever fulfill me was and still is Christ.His love does not only choose my good side but also goes for my bad side.A love that wants me whole and not just,when i have make up on.Peace within myself,i realized does not exist without His love.I found what i had been longing for.

I got convicted to no longer date until God opens that door.I will not compete with Him and open a door of loneliness,discontentment and self pity.Yes i will be real honest that it is hard because at time i do long for someone to share my day with and all that,but i realize that God wants me to do that with Him,to share my life with Him,to run to Him first and make Him Lord over my life.I know God is not saying never,but He is just saying not now and that is what He has put in my spirit,so I TRUST Him. I give Him the chance to work in me and in turn i get to know myself.For the ladies,lets remember Eve did nothing in pursuing Adam (Genesis 2:18~21).She did not dress half naked or play house because either way its not going to make them stay.She did nothing in pursuing.Lets view each other as brothers and sisters.Let us all be accountable to our actions and with each other and avoid using one another for selfish desires.Awesome that Christ does pursue us ,all of us just the way that we are,I pray that my friend will meet and stop running from the true cure of his loneliness and that most of us will,allowing Him to work in us
Lots of love!
God bless!
Email me at, ogolad@gmail.com.