‘Laughter and the sound of ‘toasts’ of wine glasses can be heard from all corners of the well-lit room.Soft, enjoyable ,brassy music filled the already enjoyable atmosphere.The faces of the congregation matched their adornings for the evening-bright and lovely.I walk into the room,having worn a gown that looks somehow,white.Holding the hand of a man and what it looks like,we are celebrating a wedding that just took place.He leads me to a table that has two beautiful ladies.He introduces me to the first lady and i immediately assume that it is the sister.But,contrary to my wishful assumptions this man introduces her as his second -wife .My face turns green,tears washing down my make up and i immediately run out of there,my heart pounding,screaming relentlessly ‘I could never be a third wife’.My sister follows me outside and the first thing i ask of her in desperation is ‘Where can i get a family lawyer at this time?’ THEN I WOKE UP.I had had a nightmare.I immediately started praying,my heart beating so fast nullifying this dream,telling God,this, is not and cannot be my portion.
I remember prior to this dream,i had just been from watching the news that night on the marriage bill that allowed men to willfully go for second-wives.I felt so strongly about the matter as we discussed it with my sister then bam! That night i had the dream.
But seriously though,as our men consider taking up as many wives as they see fit and desire.I feel and think that what tends to be forgotten is What God says on the issue and its effects on the family.Let me be real honest,i come from a polygamous family set up.My dad whom i heart dearly has two wives.I love them as well.I never knew family as boring because my mom has five of us and my step mom has nine of us.So basically,because we lived (the kids +my mom) in the same house,and life as i knew it was pretty much fun and exciting.I loved it.
Thing is,when growing up i never understood why i would call my mommy,’mummy’ and my steps would call her ‘mama so and so'(put in my name).Until i reached a certain age ,then i actually understood that we had different moms,i stopped with the questioning.My step mom was not staying with us and soon enough my step siblings after reaching a certain age,they started leaving ,to go and stay with their mom,which was okay.But it became different.Our once so great relationship was different.Our communication with each other became frizzled and almost not there. Ofcourse i loved them and i knew they loved us too,but it wasn’t the same.My once ‘normal’ family was now weird.I would look through the window admiring families that seemed ‘normal’ and stuff.At times it felt like my brothers and sisters had rejected and disapproved of us and did not consider themselves a part of us.It was hard and still is.
Does my mom and dad know how difficult it might have been for us as kids and growing up?I am not sure.
Children in the middle of a polygamous family,well it tends to feel like one is constantly in the middle of a situation.A confusing situation,where by it is hard to understand what is going on and where exactly is it that one stands.I am 100% sure that my step siblings were not at all pleased and comfortable with the set up.Polygamy is never a win-win situation for the kids.
So, i am a born-again (SAVED) christian and i do not have standards of my own,but those of Christ,because i died to me and my desires and wants.I do not believe in polygamy not only because of what it does to the family institution but most importantly because it was NOT God’s intended design for marriage.In the dream i had,i felt convicted about the whole situation,not because of its impact on the kind of life i probably have gone through,but because deep inside i knew it wasn’t God’s will and design for marriage.I felt like i had displeased Him,the most important person in my life.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh.
Note:Only one wife was got from Adams rib.
Polygamy,whether permission sought or not does not stop it from being adultery.Adultery,straight up is a sin.God condemns it all through the Bible.
Exodus 20:14 You shall NOT commit adultery.
Matthew 5:27 You have heard that it was said,’Do not commit adultery’.
Deutronomy 5:18 You shall not commit adultery. (Just to mention a few)
I believe adultery is birthed from man’s own heart never from necessity or situations of life.It may seem so,but it all boils to where one’s hope and heart are set.The foundations of our standards and beliefs.
Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart comes evil thoughts,murder,adultery,sexual immorality,theft,false testimony,slander.
Mark 7:21 For from within,out of men’s hearts,comes evil thoughts,sexual immorality,theft,murder,adultery.
This issue starts from our hearts guys.These hearts of ours.
In conclusion,well,just because i am birthed in a polygamous family does not make polygamy right before God’s eyes.The only eyes we should be concerned about.Just because our ancestors found pride in it,does not nullify God’s Words on the issue.It does not prove manhood or demand respect.
Proverbs 6:32 But a man who commits adultery lacks judgement,whoever does so destroys himself.
And just because our government might call it law,it does not substitute God’s standards for marriage.It may be accepted in Kenya but in God’s eyes it is a sin with consequences.At the end of the day,no matter who you are or your situation it all depends on whose standards you decide to live by.Remember that TRUTH does NOT stop being TRUTH because many people do not believe in it or find it difficult to uphold.
But as for me and my ‘one day-family
‘ we shall serve the Lord,believe and live by His standards.:)Be encouraged,all hope is not lost.Bless you!