“The No Sex Til Am Married Banner”

goooood photo2SEX! SEX! SEX! May be I shouldn’t even leave that there because I am Christian, and Christians do not think or talk about that. Especially single unmarried ones, like me. Well, I will take one for the team and be the “weird” one and really just talk about it after giving it much thought.
The past couple of months have been super weird for me. Being in my final year in school, people tend to put this “pressure” that never really existed during my freshman year. Am going to be really honest, not to throw shade on anyone, but to keep it 100%.Most of my peers are living with their significant others that they are dating, others are having kids (out of wedlock), some are just popping too many morning pills and buying lots of condoms and its really no big deal, at least to them. It happens so casually that sometimes it’s easy to think the same way NO BIG DEAL.

So here I am, making an entourage with a banner “NO SEX TIL AM MARRIED” And yes! That murdered my ‘street cred’ immediately. Weird, miss goody two shoes and can’t wait to see how long that will last looks are pretty much all I get. I have heard many people saying that it is no big deal. Most wo|men nowadays approach wo|men upfront for sex because it has reached a point whereby it means nothing or so little. It’s more like “I feel it, you feel it….let’s get into it…. and if it’s really good, we might exchange names and more information about each other”. Well, I think, just because you feel it, it doesn’t justify you’re doing it. To me the #90 day rule does not even exist,  let’s try the #we are not married yet rule. It does not matter how in love we feel, or how meant to be we are. There is a time under the sun for everything and before marriage is not the time for sex. But this is the thing, it is super easy to agree with this world if all you do is feed your spirit with it. In Philippians 2:5 “Your attitude should be like that of Christ”. The key words there are attitude and Jesus Christ. Attitude in other words implies disposition. My disposition towards life and issues of life should be like those of Christ. My thoughts on sex which translates into my actions should like those of Christ and what the Bible teaches. Not on what I watch on real house wives, Scandal, basically TV or what my friends say and everyone around me seems to be believing or doing.Snapshot_20141211_29
Do I want to have sex? YES! Is it a struggle? You have no idea how much. I get to meet great guys that I like and would love to date, but their belief on pre-marital sex is one of the areas where I base my deal breakers. How can two walk together if they don’t agree, has never made so much sense. I am not saying that we will not be attracted to the opposite sex and all that good stuff, but even in that attraction we should be able to talk about boundaries and be more deliberate in making them effective. Of course, this would work best if one is serious and considering a long term relationship i.e. marriage and not a convenient short term thing that would be later framed as “We dated for a minute”. #DatingWithPurpose
YES! I do agree that it is not always that these boundaries are going to work or we may not have those moments of weakness. But we need to remember that that does not justify our swimming in the sin of pre-marital sex. I call it sin because the Bible does and you should as well and not because I want to be called ‘holier than thou” because you would be guilty of telling a lie. Sex is an intimate special connection that should be made with only one person in one context and that is marriage. Sounds old school? Right? But don’t let this pop-culture generation fool you. So are you on his bed and he hasn’t put a ring on it ,it does not matter how much he/she loves you or how long you have lived together or known each other. God still sees it as sin.
I realized that one of the triggers for the times I found myself compromising in this area was the types of conversations I was having with my friends. You know us girls the way we subconsciously dig deep into the nitty-gritties of every situation, and when I say every, I mean every situation .Of course this is awesome when ya’ll are talking scripture. Then I came across this verse 2nd Timothy 2:16 “Avoid Godless chatter because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly”. I realized I cannot be discussing how it felt (not spiritually) kissing whoever and how his body felt and am that girl trying to be celibate. Who am I fooling? Of course the next time we’ll be talking I’d want to be the one dishing the juicy story. The more I indulge in ungodly chatter, the more Godly principles will slip through my fingers. Amen to more discipline on this area!!!!
I STILL lift that banner up high on good  and  bad days. I trust and hold on to God so that I keep myself for that connection with one person and to most importantly honour Him in that way.

If you are out there and was almost losing hope and succumbing to the pressure, well you are not alone. Virgin or not. Keep your head up and stand your ground. If you are having pre-marital sex, well, I pray you re-consider. It all starts with making a choice and then being deliberate in making the choices come alive and be more effective. All in all the Grace of God is sufficient and I pray HE convicts our hearts even more concerning this topic. Love you all! Don’t forget to share your thoughts.

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