So I finished “primo” (primary school) Yay!! Yay!!..I am in form 1 only for this year (2007 ) and next year I will be in form 2.And I will be an ex-mono. So I got SAVED (again) and out to serve God and please Him. It is hard and I have to say that not everything has been going okay. School iko poa (is great) … atleast I am coping. But I have no friends. I am all alone, the “friends” I have are not real friends…..Daaaaah!!! (we used to say that a lot at that time)My prayer since I got to high school was to have a very close friend. I mean a friend I could share with my deepest secrets. But no one seems interested. No one here seems to be interested in the real me! My form one life has not been so nice since I did not meet as good friends as I had expected.I’ve been suffering from a low-self-esteem since no one has ever told me how cute I am or how I look nice in a certain outfit. I want a life of which I basically do not have. I miss so many of my primary school friends, some whom I will never forget and appreciated me for who I was. I will never forget them!
This first entry really just captures the shift and transition of seasons. Getting into a new environment that was both scary and exciting. It captures the expectations that we have and the disappointment of lack of similarity between the past and the future. I knew I needed God in this new season, thus my getting saved (again)…lol!
I never knew at this point that it gets better. That soon enough I would not miss my primary school friends anymore and even end up forgetting about them. Just like you never know that the pain will soon subside and die right after a break up. That time molds the best of friendships. That how I’d wrap up the season will produce a more seasoned me and my best of friends. That a more intimate,lasting and real relationship was being sculpted in most journal entries titled “Dear God”. Of course I didn’t know all this. I was 16 and stuck up in my emotions that most times confused me. //Gosh I just thank God!//
LOW-SELF ESTEEM!WOW!On the first day of evening preps a group of form 2 girls entered my class and walked round the class speaking all fluent English and picking out the pretty girls and of course mocking the ones who did not match their version of beautiful. I didn’t know if they would pick me. Actually, I knew they wouldn’t pick me. I mean each clothe I had on was oversized and my hair wasn’t matching the standard. Plus did you see the girl who sat next to me? So when I finally got a “PIA WEWE” (even you). I knew the PRESSURE was on. When I read that part of the journal, my heart dropped and I wished I could go back and hug myself and tell myself that it wasn’t that serious. Because today no one has to tell me that am cute to make me feel good about myself. To complement me to lift my spirits. I would tell that sad girl that her smile brightens up the day and not even the sun. That she is LOVED unconditionally. #unconditionallyBae… Let her know that a guy complementing her isn’t even half a reason for going out on a walk with him. GUESS SHE DIDN’T KNOW.
Life is a journey and we never stop becoming my lovely readers.I AM STILL LEARNING.WE ARE STILL BECOMING.
Today there is a 16 yr old with this same if not more of these pressures and they are REAL until she can look back like I am today.If you get the opportunity tell her a couple of these things,PLEASE DO.
Share this post widely and watch out for ENTRY 2..NEXT WEEK.Thanks for reading.Leave a comment down below and share with my readers the lessons you learnt about self image that you wish you knew when you were in high school and whatever else you would love to share.
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