Looking at the blank page with the hashtag and the blinking cursor, I am taken back to the last six months of the journey of my life and I wonder how much of this journey I want to share, share not only with the world but a lady I have never met but feel so much love and connection with… I re-read the conversation we had and I whisper a prayer and ask the gentlest person whom I have come to constantly rely on Holy spirit to hold my hand and speak to me as I share part of my journey.
She starts out as a tiny little egg, fully dependent of the environment to all her needs be met, the shell breaks and out comes the weirdest thing… she stays here a while and realizes she can understand what is happening to her. All she can do is eat and sleep. This is the happiest stage of her life, but then a thousand little deaths keep happening and shockingly she survives each and every life-shattering event that I went through.
As she adjusts to WHO she is and is safe and secure in her NATURE (This is how I have been created and I will not change) She begins to stir, something deep within her begins to shake and move. She holds on to everything that she knows, she fights and screams’, knowing her world is shifting, some catastrophic force is destroying her life. She cries out to God and all she hears is “Let go, baby, I gotchu” She wails as she is torn apart, right from within. She is wrenched… hoped the pain away, it did not work. Cried, wailed, nothing seemed to work. Then she stood so still and allowed herself to feel each and every fibre of her being torn away. She finally let go and trusted. All she knew was that the one who created her had a perfect plan. She did not know it and at this point it did not matter; He can finally have His way.
It went all black and she knew she was dead, dead to everything she knew. In place of the pain she felt was a new form of discomfort. With every change come growth pains. The discomfort of knowing and adjusting, If you do not recognize that a metamorphosis has happened then the mental behavior remains constant where we are stuck begins to take shape in terms of her wings drying, practice having this new position of BIG wings, ability to fly. Then it happens. FLIGHT.
Flight vs. Fright
We always assume that being a beautiful butterfly is easy. See, she is not sure of who or what she is at the get go. She looks to the sky and sees everything that threatens the darkness that she knows. All she has known is and has changed, she is now different. What has changed? Does she know? Is it only her outward appearance or was her mind in tandem with the change? Has the Larva mentality eat and sleep changed, does she know her destiny is to flight.
As she flutters and the air under her wings seem to lift her off the branch called home. She sees the freedom and it stuns her. Landing back to the safety of home, home cannot hold her new weight and it let’s her down. No choice but to fly. She realizes that it is what she was meant to do.
In the EXACT same way, women are created. Beautifully intricate, but to discover her truth, the essence of who she was created to be she must go through a process. Honestly we all go through this, sometimes the pain and beauty or even comfort of one stage makes us stay there and live a life of less than what we were created to be.
The beauty of the butterfly is the release of self and allowing the process to rule and win.
Reason for the #lovingthebutterflylife a delicate and full reliance on a process and a wiser God.
Butterflies and Sunshine.
Njeri is a woman i have come to admire.She is the founder of SITARA, which is a space she has created for women to find rest,restoration,healing and a place of rejuvenation.She started Sitara because she believes that as women we need a place whereby we can freely speak and pour out the concerns of our hearts,as well as the joys of our lives. We love you Njeri here at the blog and we’ll be #LovingTheButterflyLife.God bless you.
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