#TEENDiariesENTRY 2:PERFECTLY BLENDED.

‘’I wished to have a “normal” family but I guess I wasn’t destined to .I have a step MOM and many step sisters and brothers. Some are great.. It’s all weird.We are almost closing school. I hope that one of my fav step-brother will come home. That I will meet new friends and attend a teens fellowship at my church and maybe start a praise and worship team at church. Guess what happened,he came on the first Sunday of my holiday. I was so happy to see him. I also went to teens on that Sunday. Haiya, I met new friends and most were boys. (wink) You can imagine the horror. Some were definitely not my age. There is this one guy who looked at me in a fishy way, I’ve always known when a guy liked me (NOT TRUE).He greeted me in a nice respectful way. The topic for the meeting was the delicate issue which affects most teenagers. SEX!!!!!Many questions ran through our minds;

1)Why should we not do it?

2) How does it feel like?

3) Why should we wait? Everyone is doing it.

I realized that we are uncomfortable to talk about SEX and yet God created it. I learnt so much about the boys and girls there. They are deeply affected by this. By the way I like the guy too ,but he is a bit older. Man, there are fine men out there!!!!!I one day want the courage to stand up and speak in public and be myself and not worry who’s looking. But seriously I do not know how to socialize with boys but I love boys. I love boys because they are easy, understanding and simple. Well, this is just the beginning of  a life in store for me.

I love Jesus. I will like to acknowledge that. Guess I gotta sleep.’’



No one chooses the family that they land  and find themselves in.We do not choose our parents.God makes that choice for us.And God is perfect.H e does not make mistakes.He is a good God.Families are diverse and flat out weird.Everyone comes from one.Even the worst of them still has LOVE in it.I thought I came from the worst of it.At times it felt so.But I never doubted the love.My family is BLENDED (step family). We basically share a dad and are blessed with two moms.I know not most would like to be in such a situation and some are probably judging this situation.Don’t you worry,that used to be me.And this also could be someone else’ truth.It always felt weird trying to explain why we were so many.

I grew up with a lot of questions.Wondering why did God have to put me in such a situation.Why no one bothers to explain the situations.Its until grew up a bit that i am now able to understand and look at it with grace.Life is messy and families are messier.God having put me in this situation pretty much wanted to stretch me.To stretch my love for people that I did not feel related to.To accept people as they come.Even my parents.To love the sinner and not the sin.To judge not.Accepting people in whatever way that they came to my life.That how can I love GOD whom I have never seen and hate my brother/sister that I see.Its a fact that the generations ahead of as will be coupled up with blended families with either similar or different situations than this.My parents, esp my mom taught me to LOVE regardless.Whether we share a father or NOT.Whether you came before or after.Families are expressions of love and we judge and complain because we seek perfection in an imperfect world.Love your crazy,issued and roller coaster-ed family and the more we love like Jesus loves us,the more it is transformed.FOR WE ARE PERFECTLY BLENDED!


Oh my, meeting boys was just one of the weirdest moments in my life.I JUST DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO ACT.(LOL)I t was so awkward.I was so shy.It was so hard for me to speak in public at that time esp around my peers.Worrying about what people would think of my “saved opinions’’. That I wouldn’t be cool anymore.That I’d rather shut up and leave them wondering.It was so easy being saved at home than in school guys.The pressure was real esp with my weird short hair and crazy #foreheadgame.WOW!Its funny how life changes.How we are just WORK IN PROGRESS.The amount of growth in my interactions,confidence and public speaking.The acceptance that I have for myself.The courage that at times looks so small that I have gained.I can only smile and thank GOD.For I am unashamedly flawed and not ashamed of Him.That I long to just open my mouth and go on and on about His love and the standards for life that He set.Standards that look too high but through His grace I fall and He picks me up and He says try again.I GOT YOU.

I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY FAMILY,MY PERSONALITY ,GOD’S STANDARDS THAT HAVE BECOME MINE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY I AM NOT ASHAMED OF HIM.

WE ARE STILL BECOMING.⊕

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#TEENDiaries:ENTRY 1. And The Journey Begins.

So I finished “primo” (primary school) Yay!! Yay!!..I am in form 1 only for this year (2007 ) and next year I will be in form 2.And I will be an ex-mono. So I got SAVED (again) and out to serve God and please Him. It is hard and I have to say that not everything has been going okay. School iko poa (is great) … atleast I am coping. But I have no friends. I am all alone, the “friends” I have are not real friends…..Daaaaah!!! (we used to say that a lot at that time)My prayer since I got to high school was to have a very close friend. I mean a friend I could share with my deepest secrets. But no one seems interested. No one here seems to be interested in the real me! My form one life has not been so nice since I did not meet as good friends as I had expected.I’ve been suffering from a low-self-esteem since no one has ever told me how cute I am or how I look nice in a certain outfit. I want a life of which I basically do not have. I miss so many of my primary school friends, some whom I will never forget and appreciated me for who I was. I will never forget them!


 

 This first entry really just captures the shift and transition of seasons. Getting into a new environment that was both scary and exciting. It captures the expectations that we have and the disappointment of lack of similarity between the past and the future. I knew I needed God in this new season, thus my getting saved (again)…lol!

I never knew at this point that it gets better. That soon enough I would not miss my primary school friends anymore and even end up forgetting about them. Just like you never know that the pain will soon subside and die right after a break up. That time molds the best of friendships. That how I’d wrap up the season will produce a more seasoned me and my best of friends. That a more intimate,lasting and real relationship was being sculpted in most  journal entries titled “Dear God”. Of course I didn’t know all this. I was 16 and stuck up in my emotions that most times confused me. //Gosh I just thank God!//

LOW-SELF ESTEEM!WOW!On the first day of evening preps a group of form 2 girls entered my class and walked round the class speaking all fluent English and picking out the pretty girls and of course mocking the ones who did not match their version of beautiful. I didn’t know if they would pick me. Actually, I knew they wouldn’t pick me. I mean each clothe I had on was oversized and my hair wasn’t matching the standard. Plus did you see the girl who sat next to me? So when I finally got a “PIA WEWE” (even you). I knew the PRESSURE was on. When I read that part of the journal, my heart dropped and I wished I could go back and hug myself and tell myself that it wasn’t that serious. Because today no one has to tell me that am cute to make me feel good about myself. To complement me to lift my spirits. I would tell that sad girl  that her smile brightens up the day and not even the sun. That she is LOVED unconditionally. #unconditionallyBae… Let her know that a guy complementing her  isn’t even half a reason for going out on a walk with him. GUESS SHE DIDN’T KNOW.

Life is a journey and we never stop becoming my lovely readers.I AM STILL LEARNING.WE ARE STILL BECOMING.

Today there is a 16 yr old with this same if not more of these pressures and they are REAL until she can look back like I am today.If you get the opportunity tell her a couple of these things,PLEASE DO.

Share this post widely and watch out for ENTRY 2..NEXT WEEK.Thanks for reading.Leave a comment down below and share with my readers the lessons you learnt  about self image that you wish you knew when you were in high school and whatever else you would love to share.

P.S. If you would love to be a guest blogger on here,drop me an email. ogolad@gmail.com.